Mother's Day Review Special: After Birth by Elisa Albert

Imagine This: You are the mother of a bouncing baby boy. Except you are not all so happy and really thrilled about this motherhood thing because it’s not happening the way they sold it out to be. Because
a)      You had him under a knife.
b)      You are going through the world’s worst Post-partum disorder.

Your husband cannot help because, he has no clue as always. He rather expects you to bounce back and go on living like you didn’t go through any mean feat, like your life could ever be the same with a baby yelling you up awake and screeching before your alarm clock goes.

You are really pissed at the world, the co-op of mothers for not voicing how they really feel and pretending all is roses and soft cheeks. Fuck them all! While at cussing at them, let’s begin to hate TV Commercials, Doctors that speak against breast-feeding the child and opting for formula. Let’s talk about how medical practitioners prescribe unhealthy ‘miracle’ fertility drugs to aid fecundation. Let’s fucking talk about how women are just supposed to pretend all is well, and never fathom any thoughts this could all go wrong. And while at that too, let’s talk about all the fucked up things that have happened in your childhood, your mum who’s moods were unpredictable, all the female friends in your life who’ve been nothing but friends and a lot like females.

Let’s talk about Mina who’s moved a couple of blocks nearby, who’s had a rough past and is as femininely-opinionated as you. Mina you plan to help get around the ropes of this new birth thing. Mina who happens to be strong and made out of the fire she’s experienced throughout her life. Mina who offers some silver-lining in the hostile terrain called motherhood.

There’s also that dissertation you have to write for you doctorate degree in women studies. And the hot carpenter who if your stupid, ancient house doesn’t stop falling apart you might just have to fuck…

Ari’s hellish life summarized for your delight…

What a book!

Elisa Alberts has moved into my ranks of authors who do not give a fuck the sensitivity of her topic and isn’t afraid to lay it bare as it is. A beautiful book about giving birth and c-sections, breastfeeding and respecting your body as a pregnant woman, Post-partum depression, and all the other insides about birth you are never, ever told. A star to this amazing storyline.—★

I love the language. It’s literary fiction at its finest. I’ve decided when I begin writing anything (serious) I want to write like Elisa Albert! She doesn’t quite consider the huge barrier separating poetry from prose  (much like how she doesn’t care about laying on her subject matter and her themes easily). She criscrosses between the two to achieve this rhythmic, pulsating composition that astounds and is very highly literary. Yet she infuses a commercial spin to this writing by injecting blasts of humour. What amazing writing!—★★

The main character, Ari, is fucking adorable! She’s smart, she’s feminist, she’s strong, she’s peculiar. She’s well-developed! Her voice is breath-taking. A character to contend with. Her opinions are enlightening and very… controversial! She’s the embodiment of a true feminist, although in this book she states what kind of feminist she is (the smart one who’s not an activist in a group of women that are going to breakdown anyway because you can’t have all such toxicity in one group). A star.—★★★

Other characters I loved are Mina, the ex-drummer of a band that didn’t quite make it who’s been a prostitute, a writer and everything in between. There’s Paul, Ari’s husband who does tolerate her too much. There’s Wil, the hot carpenter who listens and understands our lead. There’s Molly, there’s Jess, there’s a whole cast of all Ari’s old friends who are fascinating because our lead wouldn’t go for the ordinary. There’s Sheryl, our lead’s stepmother who she blanks out most of the time because of her stern Jewish values (“You really have to circumcise this child!”). A star to all these characters.—★★★★

(I FEEL I NEED TO ADD THIS :) I had this book since last year, and I was afraid to dive into it because of the reviews on Goodreads. But come on, which reader who actually loved a book ever had time to go put up their reviews on Goodreads. I’ve come to realize Goodreads is the biggest anti-feminist review-site out there so please if you’d go get a brilliant feminism book like this, don’t you dare be influenced by all that happens on that site. It would be nice to form your own opinions. (If you don’t believe me, see Courting Trouble by Kathy Lette, see Dietland by Sarai Walker, all great books really). I’m really learning, thanks to Elisa Albert, to say fuck you Goodreads, never ever would you influence my choice of reading!

My rating is definitely a five out of five stars.
Elisa Albert’s After Birth is available on Amazon. 

I recommend this book to anybody who wants to think as well as laugh. Anyone who wants something on the subject of feminism. You want something literary? Well, this is high, high form of literary. This book is highly recommended to all (young) mothers and all plain adults. Books like this mould!

My work not done here. Off to post my review on Amazon as well as Goodreads.

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