Author Interview + Giveaway: Toni Rae (I Dated This Guy Once)

We catch up with Toni Rae, author of I Dated This Guy Once… In a book that is part Eat, Pray, Love and part Sex and the City, Toni takes readers on her adventures in 21st Century dating and shares all that she has learned along the way with plenty of laughter, wisdom and points to ponder for the modern woman. 

Buy on AMAZON in both Kindle and Paperback:  http://www.amazon.com/Dated-This-Guy-Once/dp/1458211223

Questions for Toni Rae, author of I Dated This Guy Once

1.    Tell us about your new book I Dated This Guy Once
I Dated This Guy Once… is a memoir focusing primarily on going through the volatile years of ages 18-26 and how to navigate your decisions, your focus, your career and love life. The book is about instilling love where judgment exists, compassion where doubt exists and positivity into these years which can be sometimes dark and daunting. Growing up isn’t easy for anyone, especially not in today’s society.
2.    What was the defining moment that made you realise you wanted/needed to write this book?
I was laid off three times in about three years and decided to take the next job offer that presented itself, regardless of where or what it was. I took a job offer teaching English in South Korea, something I would never of even considered doing had the opportunity not came knocking on my door. The defining moment for me to write this book, and share my story, is because so many young people, at least 25,000 hired in Korea in 2008 alone, go through the exact same feelings and emotions I did. We all feel in search of something outside ourselves. I needed other young people to feel that they’re not alone.
3.    What are the key bits of advice that you want to share with others?
Dating in the 21st century can be a real pain in the ass, but it is better than sitting at home eating bagels and feeling sorry for yourself. That’s one piece of advice. The other is just to love, love everyone and everything you surround yourself with. Sometimes one random act of kindness can change your tiny little corner of the world, so if you can’t change the world, change your little corner of it. Be a soft heart to a tough soul. Fall in love every day, with something or someone, but at the very least, fall in love.
4.    What are your thoughts about the modern way of dating, in particular online dating?
The modern way of dating, is as I mentioned, quite painful. With cell phone apps such as Tinder, Coffee Meets Bagel, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, Skout and so on and so forth, you can pretty much meet anyone, anytime, with a quick swipe of a finger. It is unbelievable. But what has this done to communication and dating? It has made it less likely for a man to approach a woman traditionally, or even give a man the confidence and communication skills he must ascertain in order to actually facilitate a successful relationship. In other words, people aren’t communicating like they used to, everything is virtual. Online dating is a bit better than dating apps, because sites like Match and eHarmony match people with you in a systematic way regarding your personality and circumstantial expectations for a potential partner, which is obviously better than swiping left or right through photos of strangers on your cell over a beer at the local bar. Either way, I think online dating can be extremely successful, if you’re actually going on dates and putting yourself out there. Just simply getting out of the house should be your number one goal for finding the love of your life, unless you’re seriously considering a food delivery man.
5.    What do you think the future holds for dating?
That is a tough question. The future scares me a bit in the world of dating. We are already seeing our youth of society date and communicate differently. I was sitting next to this adorable 9 year-old boy at a squash match in a private club in Greenwich, CT a couple weeks ago. He was talking about his EX-girlfriend, yes a 9 year-old boy about an ex-girlfriend. Not only was he talking about her, come to find out, they had never actually met in person. They had friends at near by grade schools, met on facebook, started texting and video chatting and eventually broke up because they didn’t go to the same school. Okay, now I know you might be thinking, that’s not really that big of a deal. And maybe it’s not. But what sort of communication skills do you need, or could you possibly develop, carrying on a relationship via technology? That means that there is no personal or physical connection, just a virtual or emotional connection based primarily on looks. You could pretty much carry on an emotional relationship with any attractive person at this level, which scares me a lot, because emotions can be deceptive. So what do I think the future holds? Maybe a plethora of basic communication and dating skill classes? Your guess is as good as mine.

6.    Do you believe that there is someone out there for everyone?
I do believe there is someone out there for everyone who wants someone. There are definitely people in this world that are far better off being and staying single, and actually prefer it that way. Then there are the rest of us, who find love, desperately want to be in love, get married, and stay married. I am a hopeful romantic, and believe if you’re single, your soul mate could be right around the corner. Or he/she could be sitting in front of you at Starbucks, if you would just look up from your iPhone or Mac every once in awhile. I think the most important thing, is to always be present. Stop looking in the past, stop thinking of the future, and be present in every moment, then and only then will happiness find its way to you.


There you have it, Toni Rae unveiled!

Buy on AMAZON in both Kindle and Paperback:  http://www.amazon.com/Dated-This-Guy-Once/dp/1458211223


Buckle up, Toni Rae is giving away two hardbacks worth $30. Stand a chance to win one of them by entering this giveaway. Good luck.

 a Rafflecopter giveaway

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