28/10/2013

Book Review: How Hard Can It Be by Robyn Peterman

Available on Amazon in both paperback and kindle.

Blurb: What happens when an accountant decides to grab life by the horns and try something new? Apparently a pirate named Dave, a lot of pastel fleece, and blackmail—just to start with…

Visualize and succeed, Oprah said. I was sure as hell trying, even if my campaign to score a job as the local weather girl had ended in a restraining order. Okay, TV was not my strength. But a lack of talent has never stopped me before. Which is why I’ve embarked on a writing career. I mean, how hard can it be to come up with a sexy romance?

Leave it to me to wind up in a group of grandmotherly porno writers who discuss sex toys and apple cobbler in the same breath. Also leave it to me to leak an outlandish plot idea to a bestselling author with the morals of a rabid squirrel. And only I could get arrested for a jewelry heist I didn’t commit—by a hunky cop whose handcuffs just might tempt me to sign up for a life of crime. Maybe I’ve found my calling after all…

———————★—★———————

Herbie run to my table on his tiny little dentist legs. "He's gay." Herbie informed me triumphantly.

"Really?"

"Yep"—he sucked in his gut and stood up taller—"but I am not." He waggled his eyebrows and grabbed his package.

It was all I could do not to gag-laugh. I closed my eyes and sucked in an enormous breath "That's wonderful... that you're not gay. I'm sure you will make an unsuspecting girl very unsettled someday, but here's the thing... I'm a lesbian. So while I'm fluttered by your outstanding posture, your acrobatic eyebrows, and your crotch handling, I prefer vaginas."

"Really?" Herbie asked dejectedly.

"Really," I assured him.

———————★—★————————

OMG. With such an amazingly crazily, hilarious debut. How hard it would be for Robyn Peterman to fall off our Must-Read lists.

Have you ever hated your job so much you hang around your dream workplace for a week which you have no skills for and win yourself a restraining order in the process? Betcha haven't! Or you attended a writers' meeting hoping to meet up with a renowned author but encounter old, shriveled women who write hardcore porn employing all devices you haven't even thought to experiment with? Hmm... not sure I have been there. You think you have the craziest family on the planet? I'm sure you do. But does it consist of a mum who ogles your boyfriend, a dad who's seething to kill your aunt, the said aunt who's worried about little men in her TV and zombies running Wall Street, not forgetting a sister who won't hesitate to make you feel like a piece of elephant shit and above all, the longest and strangest surname fit for a King of every Piece of Shit with an actual 'shit' in it? Even you would run for your life. But Rena doesn't. Just a normal day in her life.

Well, when Rena attends the writers' meeting of porno-writing grannies, she makes an encounter with the boobickious Viper-Bitch From Hell, Evangeline O'Hara, who's known to steal all works of all the porno-writing women in the meeting. How exactly did she get herself writing a dumpsterpiece which should bring down this nutjob's career, getting every single member of her family threatened in the process, apprehended by the hottest cop who shags like a dashing hero in something historical and meeting the most sneakiest, dangerous characters she's ever met in her life who might flick a switch and win her a life sentence.

I choked on my food! The storyline of this book is so one-of-a-kind! You know, sometimes you read Harry Potter, and go like, I wish I had the idea to pen this first. Well, meet Robyn Peterman (and push J. K Rowling off a cliff). It's all you think a plot shouldn't be yet it is. They don't call this fiction, they call this amazing! I sat for hours wondering how this book was crafted, and the more I did the more I found myself hovering around one answer:Robyn Peterman is the real deal—A star to the storyline.

I missed three lectures! It was just exciting as well as distracting to read this book. I have a to-do list. This book showed the finger to it. Though I didn't eat it all up in one sitting (I was a bit selfish savoring every fiber slowly), this book made me make time where time wasn't only to go at a very slow pace!—A star to the suspense.

I peed in three pants! (Uh-oh, I now know why my laundry was twice it's usual size). This book is funny. Very very funny. And I've read the funniest books this year! On my list, it should emerge winner of the Most Pants Peed In award.—Star to the humor.

Oh the characters! I. Loved. Them. All the writer's in the porno group with the strangest secrets in the world to the family, to Rena(!), to the cop who shags like a hero out of a history lesson and even to the evil, Evangeline O'Hara. They were all just marvelous to read about. Ooh, and Vinnie the Vibrator too.—another star.

The one or two sex scenes in this book were eye-popping. Normally, I won't do books that shockingly go all the way there. But with humor in there, I just can't resist [Insert *wink* here].

This book was mind-blowing, fantastic, sextastic so much more, so much more. So...

5/5 stars.

How Hard Can It Be by Robyn Peterman a story of porno-writing grannies, crazy family members, plastic surgeries gone awful and shitty surnames is available on Amazon. Get your copy now. I am not surprised this book has the highest sales ranking I have seen from an indie author. It goes to show that with a power blurb and an excerpt no one can resist, you can write full-time—like Robyn does.

I recommend this book for anyone who doesn't mind getting admitted for multiple broken ribs. Anyone who wants something strangely different. Anyone who hates their job. Anyone who loves to read. Anyone who loves chick-lit that takes you all the way there. And anyone who's a die-hard fan of any porno writing grannies.

I loved this book. I will keep reminiscing about all the good times it brought me...

Can't wait to read Robyn's first book in her new, Hot Damned series.

My work not done here. Off to post my review on Goodreads as well as Amazon.

Shit. Screw Amazon in advance for cropping a chunk of this review!

2 comments:

  1. Robyn is a awesome author, I love her and her books!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Found your blog through Chick Lit Central. Robyn is hysterical and her Facebook page is awesome, too.

    ReplyDelete