Book Review: The School Gate Survival Guide by Kerry Fisher.

MY SYNOPSIS

Imagine This: Your life smells (nothing like Chanel No.5, but) of bleach and Glade as a cleaner of spas, country clubs and ginormous homes of the well-to-do. You do not have an easy life. Not with your children and their constant needs. And a ‘partner’ who hasn’t proposed for nineteen years who’s so much of a lazy slob, all he does for full-time is rant at you.

Life couldn’t get any worse than this when the people around your estate are mostly crack-heads, teenagers who get knocked up and become dropouts. Could this be the future of your kids?

Then when the death of a Professor who was always keen on you as her cleaner, catapults your children into the life of highly-esteemed schools where all the mums arrive in Land Rovers, organize tea meetings in their plush homes after the school drop-off so the new mums could get acquainted with the system of things (and hierarchy of things), have mani-pedi dates with one another discussing which tutor is shipped from where helping their child’s math, you are both enamoured and frightened.

How are you going to pay the bills now that the children want to go on rugby tours in South Africa? Or put much effort into organizing bake sales with all the mums who know nothing about running shifts to scrub other people’s toilets? How can you cope with a partner who cannot wait for you to arrive so he could berate you for all the wrong choices you’ve made in your life (excluding running off with him, of course)?

And what do you do about the Head Teacher who’s showing such interest in you you can hardly focus when you are doing someone’s toilet?

Maia Exteleku’s life summed for your delight.

MY REVIEW

I loved, loved this book! So in my review you know I’d be urging you to grab a duster and do your own cleaning so you could take (mini) breaks and sit cross-legged with this book in your lap?

Beautiful story-line! Girl’s day job is cleaning. Girl doesn’t really dream of life more than that, but she’d like that the council tax people would take it easier on her. Girl has always dreamt of going back to school for a degree to better her life, but if only the man who has never proposed to her for nineteen years would give her a little encouragement rather than take up all her savings to hit the pubs when he’s grumpy (which is always). If only Girl could get her life together and give her children the good life they deserve, she’d be more than accomplished. Except on the way to giving children a good life, children want horses, bitchy mums cannot wait to downgrade her, Head Teachers cannot help but flirt and neighbours cannot help but envy what she has (which is nothing!). Brilliant. A star to the story-line.── ★

I adored the main character, Maia. She’s so relatable. She has this whiplash, direct tone laced with humour that gives the reader no chance to indulge in annoying constant bemoaning of her troubles. You would love her for trying to make the school run when she’s so late to scrubbing off someone’s floors. You would also love her for being about the only mum who doesn’t have the luxury to mani-pedi yet isn’t envious of all the others. You would also love her for being committed to succeeding in a life that keeps slamming her on her bottom with mountains of debt (so she could imitate a late aunt with a Spanish accent to tell off the creditors). A star to her!── ★★

The development of the supporting cast made this book worth-reading too. You would love Sandy, the neighbour next-door who cannot always wait to rub it in our lead’s face how much she’s trying to be prim and proper when cleaning other people’s shit is all she does. You would want to kick the gonads, of Colin, the ‘partner’ who only cares about his beers and West Ham. You would find Jennifer, one of the school mums, utterly annoying for wanting to be such a bitch every time to our lead for her chosen profession. There’s also Clover, one of the nicer mums, whose foul-mouth causes her children to take after her. Venetia, who is always going on about the necessity to pick out colleges for your nine year-olds and teaching them foreign languages so they could easily get into Oxford even if they wouldn’t encounter anyone in their lives who spoke Mandarin.  A star to all these and more.── ★★★

In every chapter there’s a cliff-hanger, something to keep you flicking the pages. I was hooked. Lots of OMG moments thrown in there as well. There’s also so much you could giggle at as an extra to make this book a kicking read.── ★★★★

I did love this book. But the first opening pages (twenty) were not that engaging and were shaky for me. However, after I got past the shaky bit I read all the others in a day!

So my rating: 4.5 stars/ 5 (4.5/5)

Too much for a debut, Kerry Fisher’s book is available on Amazon. I do hope you get it as well as her latest, The Island Escape which also sounds equally fab!

I recommend this book to anyone who loves chick-lit leads with not-so-glamorous lives and jobs. Anyone who wants a book into the life of an immigrant should also run off with this book. Anyone who wants to get on with something from a debut author they’d love to stick with through all other bestsellers in the future.

My work not done here. Off to post my review on Goodreads.

Book Review: When I Met You by Jemma Forte

MY SYNOPSIS

Imagine This:  The two words you could use to describe your life is: Not Perfect. And when you think about the fact that you are living with your parents, sleeping in your old room, and having no dream you’d want to pursue at thirty-one, you realize you are not kidding, and you are what someone would call underachieved——which could even be dolling the situation up a little bit knowing you have never achieved anything in your life.

If only your mum ever focused on you all through your life, if only you haven’t been living in the shadow of your hot, bitchy sister who’s always been driven around to auditions despite her lack of a talented bone in her, if only you had a father-figure to look up to since yours disappeared when you were quite a baby…

But of course, all you blame is yourself for wanting to do nothing but play the violin or wash people’s hair just so you could gather money to travel all around the globe and come back when you need to wash more people’s hair for another vacation around the world.

Then suddenly, on one rainy night, your dad shows up, clamping his hand on your mouth and ordering you not to scream.

That’s the beginning of your life, of you living. But surely you expected a more upbeat start than a holiday fling turned chubby crushing at your parents’ and emptying out the fridge.

Marianne Baker’s quirky, messy life summed up for your delight.

MY REVIEW

I loved, loved this book. So you know in my review I’d be throwing bricks your way till you get fed up and go get it.

God knows how many times I’ve been wanting to read Jemma Forte, so when this book popped up in the mail, you could tell the very absurd victory dance I put up.

The storyline is fab! Thirty-year old girl crushing with her parents because the only job she’s had since being a teenager is a violinist which is not quite lucrative if you decide to lock yourself away and play to the silence as audience. Thirty-year old girl saving up through hairdressing and being clown at kids parties so she could go travel the world. Thirty-year old girl who has to  deal with a family that consisted of nutjobs and a sister who yells at everyone. Thirty-year old girl whose father appears in her life one night and suddenly life might be leaning towards a positive change in the strangest ways. A star to the storyline!── ★

I did enjoy reading about Marianne. A very lovable heroine who has such a funny voice it’s really hard to sympathize with her with you should be sympathizing for her crappy life. You’d love how she puts the light in every situation with a mind and a point of view brimming with jokes. Do we ever feel underachieved? Do we ever feel lost in life with no sense of direction yet cannot admit it to ourselves? Do we ever feel everyone around us is on a different wavelength and we are alone in this world because there’s not anyone who understands us? These are the questions you would ask yourself to find out how relatable Marianne Baker is. But no, not thirty-year old lady still living with her parents and having no job. A star to Marianne.── ★★

One of the other reasons this book was entertaining was its supporting cast. You would find Allison strange, Marianne’s mum who’s never in tune to any music in life and thinks classical music should be performed for people in a Loony bin. You would draw up Hayley, the sister, and stab a knife through the dumpster-piece as revenge for every time she puts our lead (Marianne) down. You would find Andy, the holiday fling now-turned chubby irritating when he still thinks our lead fancies him even though he now has a bigger butt than she. You would find Martin, the stepdad, odd for when he wants to go for bonding trips with his son at IKEA. You would find Pete, the stepbrother who never speaks, um, quiet. There’s Ray, the MIA dad who’s showed up and is determined to make it all right. Maisie, the little annoying devilish kid who keeps getting on our lead’s nerves during her clown parties. Lots of other fun characters you would adore. A star. ── ★★★

A feature that makes this book beautiful is the themes of life, loss and family portrayed by Jemma Forte to make this title radiate with warmth.── ★★★★

Humor, check.── ★★★★

I loved, loved this book. But then I had a hate-love relationship with it because of its unstable pace. One moment, I was gripped, the other I was not. One moment it was fast-paced and the other it was slow. But for most part, it was engaging, so…

My rating: Four-point-five stars. (4.5/5 stars)

Jemma Forte's latest, When I Met You is available on amazon 

I recommend this book to anyone who loves their chick-lit funny, warm, quirky and inspiring. Anyone who knows someone still living with their parents at thirty should pick this for them in an indirect way of telling them to get a place of their own and get their life together. Anyone who has had to deal with an MIA relative appearing after so long could also pick this. And just about anyone who wants to read something about a holiday fling gone awry should grab this. 

My work not done here. Off to post my review on Goodreads.

Chick-LOL Awards 2014: Funniest Books of 2014

 

Everyone who reads this blog knows there’s one thing I never joke with! (Sadly, it’s not punctuation) It’s humour. I love a good laugh. And these books, trust me, start the rumble of laughter way below your belly (——half of the time I do not understand my own expressions so bear with me).

The Chick-Lol Awards celebrates the funniest titles of 2014. (Check out 2013’s winner).

Book Number T

Take Mom Outby Fiona Gibson.

Book Number I

Love andChaos by Gemma Burgess

Book Number L

The BestThing That Never Happened To Me by Laura Tait and Jimmy Rice.

Book Number K

DoubleStrike by Gretchen Archer.

Book Number C

ShopaholicTo The Stars by Sophie Kinsella.

Book Number I

The List byJoanna Bolouri

Book Number H

CourtingTrouble by Kathy Lette.

As you can see, a letter is missing. Because I am down to only one chick-lit title of 2014 which all the reviews said was hilarious. So I am waiting to read it and see if I could include it on this list or pick another title that fell out of the shortlist.

BUT BY FAR, The Funniest, Rib-cracking entertaining Chick-Lit of 2014, goes to Kathy Lette’s Courting Trouble.

Book Review: Saving Grace by Jane Green

MY SYNOPSIS

Imagine This: You have the perfect life. The perfect marriage with a best-selling author. The perfect daughter who’s almost engaged to the sweetest guy. A perfect assistant who makes your life looks, um, yes, perfect and seem seamlessly glamorous.

A perfect life. At least on the outside.

You might head charities. You might always be in style sections of magazines labelled ‘Most Stylish’. You might have the weight every woman your age would dream of. The face that keeps anti-ageing as Forties rear its head.

Your perfect life is being held by its perfect seams. Till your godsent assistant leaves.

No one knows the moment you get home and drop your keys on your kitchen counter, you are terrified your husband is still in a fit. No one knows you are scared shitless of your husband’s tantrums and dread the day the vases he flings against a wall might accidentally crush into your face. No one knows your husband is a complete lunatic when he doesn’t get what he wants. And no one knows you are terrified. Terrified, not only by your husband, but by the fear of becoming… JUST. LIKE. YOUR. MOTHER. Terrified by the fear of becoming severely manic.

You need a new assistant quick. Someone to hold it all, so your life seems perfect again.

Fortunately, you get one soon enough.

She’s too perfect she’s a dream come true. But this perfect stranger, wants your perfect life. And you’d bloody go through hell to a) realize, b) stop her before it’s too late and c) convince everyone your mother never passed off her genes to you.

Grace Chapman’s perfect life torn to imperfect shreds for your delight.

MY REVIEW

I loved, loved this book. So you know in my review I’d be yelling at you to go get it, don’t you?

My experience with Jane Green’s style came from Swapping Lives. A book I happily devoured… till it’s owner demanded her book back! (Apparently, it was a taboo to enjoy her book than she would WHEN SHE HAD NOT EVEN BOTHERED READING IT!)

I adore the storyline to this title. Woman is terrified of her husband. Woman’s perfect life is almost dissolved by her husband’s tantrums when their perfect assistant leaves. Woman introduces a new assistant into their home. Assistant might be bent on claiming everything Woman has. Or is Woman just being paranoid like her husband says? Love, love, love it! A star to the storyline.── ★

One thing about Jane Green’s writing, you fans already adore is her approach to the very difficult omniscient point-of-view in present tense(!) It gives this solemn quality to her titles and enhances her communication of the dense themes she seems to portray in her titles. A star.── ★★

You’d absolutely revere Grace Chapman. I do love highly composed women in their forties who exude grace under pressure and do a great job of bottling it all up so no one is privy to what goes on indoors in their homes. But how much more could you take before you finally crack? Amazing character! You would love her poise, her perfect image as society’s perfect wife. You would probably not relate to her, but you’d be enamoured of how she manages to keep it all under control without a flip switching off in her head (yet). A star to Grace.── ★★★

Other characters make this novel the literary engaging masterpiece it is. There’s Sybil, the friend who’s far from perfect, far from a size ten, far from polished and far from looking like she has it all under control like our lead (Grace). There’s also Ted, Grace’s husband who switches from complete jerk and lovely husband in a split second. There’s Clemmie, the perfect daughter who’s engaged to the perfect guy. There’s Lydia, the woman who taught Grace the number one thing that brings her joy: cooking. There’s Patrick, the adorable childhood friend who possibly still carries a torch for Grace (or has Hollywood already done his head in and made him a complete moron? but why would Grace care?). You’d also love-to-hate Beth, the assistant who at one time, Grace considers heavensent, then the next is contemplating if she’s wearing a mask over hellish features. A star to these characters.── ★★★★

Don’t you love Women’s Fiction that’s highly analytical? Women’s fiction that gives you a deeper insight into issues all you women face? Moreover, women’s fiction that offers you recipes for making meals that are sure to make your blood pressure go down a notch when you are feeling intensely worried?── ★★★★★

Suspense, check.

My rating: Five/Five stars (5/5 stars).

Saving Grace is available on amazon. Get it, and while at that, scoop all the other Jane Green titles you haven’t picked up.

I recommend this book to anyone who loves a book with a lovable, relatable, enviable heroine. I recommend this book to anyone who wants their Women’s Fiction laced with lessons they could learn and pass on to friends. Anyone who is fan of Jane Green should grab this as she doesn’t disappoint with this title. The perfect book for a group of women to sit around a brunch table and discuss.

My work not done here. Off to post my review on Goodreads. 

Book Review: The Year of Taking Chances by Lucy Diamond

MY SYNOPSIS

Imagine This: It’s New Year’s Eve, your husband has putting down purchase on a massive property which would now be called your new home. And he’s throwing a mega-party inviting all family, friends, acquaintances, and well, everybody.

With lots of booze, canapés and laughter, the party is fun contrary to what you envisaged. There you meet in two newcomers in your tiny, country village and you three bond over fortune cookies and the shitty, crappy messages in them.

Three, two, one. Happy New Year! Resolutions made, you are about to embrace the New Year with style and much more commitment to becoming a size six (not that you have ever seen that weight on you all the forty years of your life).

But who knew the crappy messages in your fortune cookies would turn to reality? Who knew tragedy would strike and your perfect family would crumble? No one to help you restore the hope you had for the New Year, not even your mum dying her hair in Ibiza, getting a tattoo and a nose ring who only shows up when she’s broken up with another boyfriend.

If only your new friends didn’t have problems on their own. On another side of the country, it turns out their fortune cookies also weren’t lying at all.

Gemma’s, Caitlin’s and Saffron’s hellish new year summed up for your delight.

MY REVIEW

I loved, loved this book! So you know in my review I’d be urging you to make your own fortune cookies and wish your life to crumble to the barest so you could pick the pieces all up and learn valuable New Year lessons, don’t you? (Crazy, I know!).

I absolutely adore Lucy Diamond. Sadly, One Night In Italy, her previous work, had only been my introduction to her amazing-ability! Now, I have this book to add to my LUCY DIAMOND TITLES YOU CAN’T FORGET (BUT CAN YOU REALLY FORGET ANY?) shelf.

Brilliant storyline. The whole thing with the fortune cookies. The whole thing with the perfect or remotely perfect lives deteriorating to absolute nothingness. It’s amazing the way Lucy Diamond crafts her stories and star, star, star, star to the storyline(s).── ★

The three main characters are off the hook! Gemma, Caitlin and Saffron! Utterly engaging! I do say I have never read anyone who handles multiple-character third-person point-of-view like Lucy Diamond excels in it. No, this is not your kind of story where all the characters are the same except for different names and different husbands! You would love Gemma for being the take-charge mother coming to the rescue when everything else is broken down. You would love Caitlin for her humorous humour and her ability to doubt what she wants for the New Year and go for it (much like us!). You would also love Saffron the no-nonsense girl in PR who knows how to give a verbal lashing to just about anyone who’s ‘lost the plot’. A star to all the characters.── ★★

Oh, and are there absolutely fantastic supporting cast as well? Karen, Gemma’s mum who loves to put down anyone within a mile radius every time she’s back in town. You would love Spence, Gemma’s husband who’s a moron for most part of the book. There’s also the adorable Darcey, Gemma’s daughter who never fails to point out when her mum is looking and acting weird. Will, Gemma’s sulky teenage son who’s taken up smoking (but really, haven’t they all?). In Saffron’s life, you would hate Charlotte, the PR boss who always takes pride in stealing the accolades of her employees to herself and posting cheerful messages on her wall to boost employee morale {TOGETHER WE CAN MAKE IT (my arse!)}. There’s Bunty, the opinionated D-list celeb who’s always calling non-stop for someone to pick up her laundry and making talk show hosts stay fifty metres from her reach for fear of being slapped for an offensive joke. In Caitlin’s life, you would adore Harry, the hot bloke who is going by a ten-date rule and trying not to begin the New Year for almost marrying someone again (about the tenth time). Loads and loads of fab characters I do not want to lengthen my review about… BUT HELL! It’s my blog! You would love Bernie, the pub owner who’s a total hottie for celebs who’ve ‘lost the plot’.  A star!── ★★★

Humor, check.── ★★★★

Suspense, check.── ★★★★★

Tear-jerking and swoony moments, check.── ★★★★★

My rating: Most definitely a five/five star read! (5/5)!

I feared I was going deep down into the four-star title rut, but this book saved it all! Now I know it wasn’t just me finding I needed a little extra with a book. This book had more than extras!

Lucy Diamond’s fan-freaking-tabulous latest, The Year of Taking Chances is available on amazon.

I recommend this book to anyone who loves an amazing New Year title to get back their groove on! Anyone who wants to read women’s fiction packed with warmth, humour and lots of heart should also get this title! And just about anyone who’s had their lives scammed by a fortune cookie they failed to believe!

My work not done here! Off to post my review on Goodreads!

Book Review: Don't Tell The Boss by Anna Bell

MY SYNOPSIS

Imagine This: You are happily married to the man of your dreams. You’ve put your act together and quit gambling. You idle at work blogging about planning weddings on a tight budget. You and your husband are trying to move up to stage six of your life plan, the baby stage. Everything in your life is running smoothly.

Until one of your blog followers pleads with you to plan her wedding. You are more than psyched. You are ecstatic. Your very first wedding. But your husband isn’t pleased. You guys are supposed to be planning for a baby and he doesn’t think you or the (yet-to-be) incoming baby could cope with the stress. Just this one wedding, you tell him.

It goes smoothly, thankfully, despite a few glitches with the music (——Beyoncé’s Single Ladies for the wedding march). A wedding guest sees your effort, and wants you to plan her wedding on a budget too for double the amount your first bride is paying you. An offer you cannot refuse. But your husband has other thoughts even though he knows he has no right to stop you from doing whatever that makes you happy.

A crazy bride who won’t stop calling you during work hours discussing a million ideas she has for her wedding, a husband-to-be you are acquainted with who entreats you to keep a secret from his fiancée despite your reluctance, mentoring a gambling teenager who would see some progress if only she ever looks up from her cell phone once in a while, and now a possible promotion at work keeping you on your feet, in competition with another co-worker and spending less time with your husband.

You are keeping a secret from the bride, you are keeping your wedding planner business from your boss, and there’s also the issue of your period showing up every month though you and your husband keep trying.

Penny Robinson’s crazy hours summed up for your delight.

MY REVIEW

I liked this title.

Despite it being a sequel to the author’s previous work, Don’t Tell The Groom, it fits as a perfect standalone with a unique storyline. So Girl is juggling between two jobs, moonlighting, and struggling not to keep secrets from her husband as he hates it. If only Girl could take a break, and spend more time with her husband, there’d be higher chances of her having a baby. If Girl could plan a wedding on a tight budget for a bride who always shows up for brunch with the season’s latest designer labels and accessories, she’d feel accomplished. A star to the storyline.── ★

Penny Robinson is a star. If she ever had a literary sister, it should be Becky Bloomwood. Funny, optimistic, has a soft spot for Vera Wang wedding dresses and Kurt Geiger shoes, utterly charming! You would love her voice, her admiration for anything quality and cheap (much like you!), her tendency for being the peacemaker in every situation, and the ever-complicated adventures she finds herself on without asking for them.── ★★

Other characters in this title made it a blast. You would love Henri, the obsessive bride who’s particular about little details like her dog being the ring bearer. You would love Beth, the teenager who’s addicted to nicking credit card details and gambling away hard-earned money promising herself she’d pay back after winnings that never come.── ★★★ 

You would also adore Gilles, the cold boss who loves assigning Penny with challenging tasks. Shelly, the competitive co-worker who loves teasing Penny with treats the former cannot resist. Louise, the friend who faintly remembers her encounter with Henri’s Husband-to-be. Baz, the army retiree who loves channelling his frustration on corporate men and women in his camp for team-building activities. There’s also a troublesome co-worker who doesn’t believe in armies and wouldn’t want to cooperate wearing army gears on team-building trips. A star to these characters.── ★★★★

Humor, check. Suspense, check.

My rating: Four/Five stars. (4/5 stars)

Do not fail to get Don’t Tell The Boss on Amazon and also check out the latest in Penny Robinson’s adventures coming out this month, Don’t Tell The Brides-To-Be.

I recommend this book to anyone who loves their chick-lit funny and Kinsella-esque. Anyone who wants tips on how to plan their weddings on a tight budget should grab this title as every chapter begins with posts from Penny’s blog with so many helpful (and——shockingly——practical) tips. Anyone who loves chick-lit that has an adorable main character they’d love to see do a comeback over and over again, should also pick this.

My work not done here. Off to post my review on Goodreads.