Birthday Review: Size Matters by Robyn Peterman

MY SYNOPSIS

Imagine this: You run a women’s shelter. Not really profitable, but wait, is anything for charity profitable? You take your women’s shelter seriously, the same for your knit shop inherited from your grandmother, your relationship with your best friend/flat mate, Rena, and the nonexistent kinda cop boyfriend you are kinda seeing, Ethan. But nothing ever goes smoothly. 

1. Maria Carey (I mean it) is always causing trouble at your shelter, breaking noses and spleens.

2. Your grandmother’s shop is run by two nasty, cantankerous old Lesbos who love to insult every customer and make big construction guys cry. 

3. Your best friend and flat mate always has her boyfriend lazying around in your apartment and fucking around with him on the couch you are supposed to make your own memories on watching shitty reality TV. 

4. As if all that isn’t enough, let’s add the tidbit about you not having sex for some months.

So when you take a bet with your best friend which results to you losing and escorting her Aunt Moon-Unit to her ridiculous Bigfoot meetings with totally ridiculous characters present discussing a mythical creature who they think might be alive, you know you’ve hit rock-bottom, really.

Your life is boring. And that includes your social life. Isn’t there a rule out there about this state being less interesting than death?

But what if after dumping your boyfriend for finding out he’s rather a Nathan, not an Ethan and some other mortifying stuff you wouldn’t want to think of (he’s a Dallas Cowboy fan!), you swear off cops only to tumble in the arms of another who you dump because you find out might just be in need of a booty call, and what if you get heartbroken?

Taking a vacation from summer, men, cops, and your whole deprived sex-life might be a fun idea. But do you have the money for it?

So when an offer comes out of your Bigfoot meetings to be a host of a TV reality show, which would make your shelter fifty thousand dollars richer, and serve as an escape from your pathetic life, but not an ideal vacation since you would be spending time with the world’s biggest cuckoos searching for a mythical creature that doesn’t exist, you take it! Ignoring the fact that the producers of the show are really sneaky and that really, who would want to watch reality TV with cuckoos searching for Bigfoot? Too bad for trashy reality TV.

But hey, there’s Jersey Shore! And this Bigfoot thingy might be a hit as well.

MY REVIEW

There’s no telling how much I love Robyn Peterman’s novels. Read three of her books, and even the first book that commenced the Happily Ever Afters and Handcuffs series, How Hard Can It Be. So reading the second, Size Matters, I really had hopes for this. And were they met? Let’s see.

As usual storyline isn’t something that comes difficult with Robyn Peterman. She always finds a way to come up with creative and never-been-done-before stuff that really gives you anticipation right after reading the blurb of her books. Size Matters was no different. Never have I read a book with characters shooting some TV series in the middle of nowhere, the aim? Searching for some mythical character who of course they weren’t going to find because this creature happens to be…. Non-existent.  A star to the storyline.── ★

I loved Kristy. I thought she was fab, funny, kooky yet amazing, someone I’d like to take out to lunch and envision tearing her clothes behind all the talk of her really huge, um, ‘badoinkies’. Robyn’s main characters are crafted in that light. And as much as I’d love to get to know the mains of every single book she creates, I sometimes find myself wondering how she, Robyn, would be. Alter-egos, ever heard of that?── ★★

Sure thing to love the mains in Robyn’s works. But frankly, it’s the supporting characters that make you feel like jumping off a cliff. So crazy to make you wonder with torture. So hilarious to keep you guffawing throughout the book. From Mariah Carey with her anger management issues, her love for odd hair coloring, and her voice usually equated to that of a quarterback on a football team. There’s also Hugh and Kim, the couple who lead the Bigfoot meetings with Kim doing the talking and Hugh offering the background music from his vast collection of songs. You would shit in your pants enduring the annoying, utterly ridiculous and cussing-loving old, cantankerous Lesbos who always, always, want to get in a fight with our lead for claiming her boobs are fake. For Stuey and Stan, the shady directors of the reality show you’d find yourself dying out of hilarity from their super-suspicious motives. Rena and Jack from How Hard Can It Be didn’t disappoint as usual, offering our lead some comfort whenever she felt she was done and over with cops. Now, Mitch. Really, I promise, I have loved all of Robyn’s male leads, but I really wasn’t connecting with this Mitch guy (except his creativity when it came to sex, of course). I don’t know, I felt he was dodgy and didn’t really love our lead. Or maybe I was just jealous and thought I was better off with Kristy (a fictional character that seemed so real, really?).── ★★★

The humor in this book is fantabulous! Does Robyn ever hold back at all? No, no, no. She really makes you laugh like she’s heard somewhere you had a bad day and are craving it. I really hate it when an author figures it all about her readers.── ★★★★

The suspense―mystery, I’d rather call it was discomforting. I mean, write a book about loads of kooky characters searching for some mythical creature, and people would still want to know what happens in the end? That’s some skillful shit. Other than that, I didn’t think Robyn handled her suspense well. That was the only feature that got me to thinking this book was nowhere as good as How Hard Can It Be? The suspense seemed rushed and I felt if there had been a little prolonging I would have been constantly reaching for my face towel and wiping the perspiration on my forehead (which was achieved from the mystery).── ★★★★*

So all in all, my rating would be a four-point five/five stars.

Size Matters is available on amazon.

Robyn Peterman is giving away Six e-copies. Enter rafflecopter to win:a Rafflecopter giveaway
 

I recommend this to anyone who wants to read something different this summer, that has nothing to do with taking off to the beach but the woods instead. Anyone who loves Robyn Peterman should grab this as she doesn’t disappoint. Anyone who loves their chick-lit sexified, hilarious and mysterious should grab this.

My work not done here. Off to post my review on Goodreads.

Review: Keeping Score by Jami Deise

                                           

REVIEW BY MY NEWEST REVIEWER ON THE BLOCK, Sandra. A Voracious reader like myself.

Her Synopsis
From the very start of our lives we are in a competition. Right from when the sperm has to struggle , swim fast and be the first to reach the ready egg, till the very last breath , even then we are in a  struggle to be the one who lived longer. Sibling competing for the attention of Parents, to be the best athlete to have the hottest boy in school , get married first and the competition continues.

The single mom with her kid is not exempted from this lifelong Competition. What she does not know is that winning all the time has consequences that comes with it. She finds out the hard way that you can't compete with your friend and have your friend back after the competition.

Shannon a very competitive mother of a nine year old , baseball, soccer and basket ball player. It is undeniable he talent of her son but she gets so sucked up in the competition that she loses her friends in the process.

And what with the hot coach she’s crushing on? And oh, her friends wanting to take her down as much as she wants to take them down (with their children).

Pure evil and brilliantly entertaining.

                                        Her Review
I've read a lot of books about divorced mums, and not all of them are worth reviewing but i rather enjoyed reading this book, maybe because I related to it very well . I mean who wouldn’t? At some point in our lives we’ve all gone through Shannon’s predicament, haven’t we? It’s sometimes even so healthy when we involve our kids too. A family of haters. I know a handful of women who’ve been in this position for a while. Including my mum who’s still rooting for me to shed off some pounds faster before the “neighborhood bitch’s” (who happens to be her ‘friend’, bless her heart) daughter does.──★

Life is very competitive and am a very competitive person by nature so (I would lose weight before that silly girl across my house does with her neighborhood bitch of a mother, and) it was easy for me to relate with Shannon. Keeping score is easy to relate to and am not a single mum.──★★

The characters were lovely and fun to read about. Good characterization on the part of Jami Deise.──★★★
 

The suspense was amazing and I could not help myself i just wanted to read more to know what will happen next, what Shannon would do or say, and that’s pretty cool it kept me at the edge my seat wanting more. Amazing.──★★★★
 

Overall, I loved the book but i wished it had more humor which would have made it outstanding.

My rating: Four stars/five stars.

I recommend this book to all the mothers out there (though I’d hold it off my mum for a while before she gets any ideas she’s destined to marry a coach―my dad has quite a belly).

Jami Deise’s Keeping Score is available on amazon.

Her work not done here. I’d encourage her to join Goodreadsand post it there.

Book Review: The Perfect Match by Katie Fforde

MY SYNOPSIS

Imagine this: You’ve moved to a new town due to a reason you’d rather not think about. You are now an estate agent fairly happy, living with your sixty-year old aunt sipping teas in a garden of roses and all that kind.

You are good at your job, caring and loving. Not shrewd as all estate managers are pictured to be with a pitch fork. All your clients love you. And so does your boss, who you’ve indulged yourself in a two year relationship with. God knows you love him as much as he… loves himself.

So maybe if perhaps your job entails convincing old people out of their houses into retirement homes, or searching for homes for the most indecisive people on earth, or what of the stingy ones with low budgets and big dream houses, and your aunty getting involved with a younger man, or your boyfriend ACCIDENTALLY proposing to you after he’s taken you out.

Enough trouble for you to deal with!

But not when illegal criminal activities come into the picture. And your boyfriend―oops, fiancé is acting suspicious lately. God help him, you might cut his balls if he’s cheating on you!

But we all know of someone who might want to cut your balls. The reason you left your previous job. He’s back. And it seems like he’s pissed at you, for, perhaps, letting his wife abandon him?

MY REVIEW

I liked this book. The storyline was perfect. The whole girl runs away, starts a new life as an estate agent (new), finds a guy who wants her cutting carbs as much as he wants her claiming the necessary documents of a senior citizen’s house (new), aunty in love with a younger guy (new), aunty having to deal with the pain in the arse daughters of younger guy (new), then the old life comes back to cut her balls (new). Cheers to Katie Fforde, and cheers to the complications of life.──★

Told in third-person points of view narrative of Bella and Alice, her aunt, (don’t you just love reading non-gender benders?), I found each of their voices unique and personalities as well. I know writers who’d just jumble them all up that you’d think each character had a split personality of the other. But Katie Fforde handled it well. The younger audience would place their shoes in Bella’s, the thirty-something’s, and root for Alice undergoing the perils of loving a younger man, and vice versa.──★★

The characters in this book were well-crafted besides the mains. From Jane, the sweet old woman who wouldn’t let go of her house for a retirement home, To the Agnews, the indecisive couple who wanted more for less. Mrs. Macey, a cantankerous woman who wanted her house off the market quick yet didn’t consider the damp smell of cat pee was the reason no one might have wanted it. Tina, the take-charge hilarious secretary. Ed Unsworth, the dickhead who’s lived his life outsmarting people out of their homes. Dominic, the George Clooney look-alike who’s out to get our Bella’s balls (not really, and speaking metaphorically). Michael, the super-charming sweet divorcé who has the hots for Alice. Nevil, the fiancé who plans the wedding down to the gown he wants his bride wearing. I loved them all!──★★★

Humor in this book was OK. Throughout I think there were two or three really laugh-out-loud moments and lots of chuckling ones in there. ──★★★★But everyone knows I love my Women’s Fiction (or all other books) utterly hilarious, so I wished this was too.  

So my rating: Four/Five stars.

You can purchase The Perfect Match by Katie Fforde in both Kindle and Paperback (but I believe paperback does it more justice!)

Amazon:  http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Perfect-Match-Katie-Fforde/dp/184605656X

I recommend this book to anyone who’s always been a fan of Katie Fforde as she never disappoints in this title too. Anyone who wants to know the ins and outs of an estate agent’s life (so they can finally sympathize with the world’s most shrewd characters). Anyone who enjoys reading books about older women starting all over again in the romance department and seeking some action in their private lives as well. Anyone who wants a good suspenseful book should also read this.

My work not done here. Off to post my review on Goodreads.

Book Review: Love and Chaos by Gemma Burgess

In a story of fashion, friendship, and natural disasters, love does triumph all, really... and a determination to keep trying.

MY SYNOPSIS

Imagine this: You are twenty-three. Crap. YOU ARE TWENTY-THREE! Fresh from the university thinking life is going to get better―the jobs are going to get better now that you have a degree to brag with, IN YOUR FACE EMPLOYERS! Or maybe let’s make your life a lot less shittier by taking away the certificate and making you a dropout with hopes of making it into the fashion world.

Uh-oh. Total screw-up.

Total screw-up, Angie’s life is. In a city that uses its youth like Kleenex and throws them out onto(!) garbage cans, only to give them a little hope to be blown a little by the wind… then swept off fiercely from an old lady’s garden apartment, that’s how much Angie feels about her shitty not-really-that-big apple life. I mean, why wouldn’t you also if your parents are divorcing and do not find you worthy enough to break the news to you, your early life till when you decide to get serious was just you being teen and living out your days carefree only to be taken advantage of by the rich-kid-type boys who for a chance you thought loved you,  a ‘boat’ boy who you just want to keep being friends with but he or you―a teeny, tiny part, albeit―cannot seem to get your head isn’t in the right place for love, fashionistas spitting you out like a strand of hair, giving out coffee to people who wouldn’t bother glazing over the resumes you sent them out with, and making a living off folding clothes!

Really? Wouldn’t the world give you a break? Wouldn’t New York give you a break?

Crying out loud who knew landing a job in fashion (without a degree―but you sure have the good ol’ guy called Talent) could be this hard?

And just when you think your problems aren’t domestic at all, you have a bunch of friend roommates to come home to, who are either going through their own drama or putting you through some!

Angie’s life summed up for your deeeeelight!

MY REVIEW

I loved, loved this book! So you know throughout my review, I would be screaming! ──★

Examination week, people! I loved the whole idea behind this, you know. Friends, New York, Sex and The City, Carrie Diaries, The Desperate Housewives… (no scrap the latter, I’m going off course again). It’s amazing, really. We all dream of taking a bite of the Big Apple and most of us would love it if we have our friends by our side going through the sometimes exciting most times shitty moments, but no, we do not get it that way most of the time… because we haven’t even reeked up enough funds in our glass purses, how much more think of taking on Big City with our friends. Gemma Burgess, with the crises of these twenty-somethings in Brooklyn, nails it on the head for selecting the right material we can yay to and sashay to the next Barnes and Nobles store, or actually get it here. ──★★

Examination week, people! I loved Angie, her voice! Wild, fun, fearless, romantic at heart… really how many twenty-somethings cannot relate to her and keep this list going. For a series description like this, the challenge is to keep each girl unique yet fun-to-read about. Now I haven’t read the first installment on Pia, but I did read the snippet excerpt chapter attached to it and new she was way different from Angie. A thumbs up to Gemma! ──★★★

Examination week, people! Not only Angie, but the other characters made me find it hard to put this down. From Anabel, the overbearing mother who embodies every other thing one of those Real Housewives are. PIa, her own drama with her boyfriend and her take-charge attitude was a thrill to read about. Julia, who was always had our lead girl’s back even when it was far out of reach (perhaps in the Carribean). Coco, the youngish sis of Julia who had the tear ducts of Joan Rivers’ boobs (that’s a big thing! But mind you, not fake). Madeline the on-and-off bitch roommate who just wants to be a friend but doesn’t know how to (control her sarcasm). Gabriel, the super-rich gentleman who for some reason I wanted to be the ‘hero’ in the book. And Sam, oh, Sam. My eyes would have been rolling to the back of my head now if I was smitten by his charms, you ladies would, trust me! It’s a characterization party in here! I loved each and every one of them. ──★★★★

Examination week! And I couldn’t put this book down. Full of so many OMG moments enough to keep me on the edge of my sun lounger (God, I miss summer!). Full of so many uplifting lines and scenes that made me assured that, I might worry so much about my future for if I’d be doing my dream job (writing), that all I need is just one (fucking fantastic) break, and that break would come surely, but I should never give up just like Angie never did. (And surely, after I closed this book it didn’t take an hour for me to receive a call from a CEO to one of the biggest advertising companies in my country I’d emailed my manuscript to, and who knew I’d land a gig as a copywriter! So you should know why this book, Angie and Gemma Burgess would forever be ingrained in my memory!) ──★★★★★

My rating: Five/five stars. 

I loved, loved this book (and I hug the paperback every now and then when no one is looking.)

Love and Chaos by Gemma Burgess can be purchased right below in both paperback and kindle. You could also pick up the first book in the Brooklyn Girls series about Pia (though you do not need to read it to understand this, but I say, STILL GET IT!)

BrookLyn Girls: Pia

I recommend this book to anyone who is in fashion and wants to remind themselves of the insane struggles they went through to get there. Or anyone who’s not in fashion―yet(!) but wants to be uplifted by sensational so relatable literature. Anyone who’s just searching for that dream should also get this book and hold on to it. Guys, this is a new direction to New Adult chick lit that blew me away, and if writers follow this trend, New Adult books would be read more often. So by that, I mean, any woman (or man) who loves their chick lit non-New Adult-like should grab this.  

I could go on gushing about this book till day break. But you’ve all got jobs, you know? And if you still are searching for that job, my advice to you, KEEP CALM AND READ LOVE AND CHAOS.

My work not done here. Off to post my review on Goodreads.