Guest Post/Blog Tour: Guardian For Hire by Christine Bell

Title: Guardian for Hire
Genre: Romance
Author: Christine Bell
Publisher: Entangled Indulgence
Pages: 149
Language: English
Format: Ebook

Sarabeth Lucking's life is turned upside down when the couples’ retreat she works for winds up embroiled in the biggest scandal of the year. With her reputation in tatters, she can’t imagine things getting worse, until her former co-workers are rubbed out, and a bad-ass, ex-Army Ranger shows up hell-bent on protecting her. She shows him the door, perfectly content with letting him go find someone else to brood over. Right up until her car explodes into a ball of flames...

Gavin McClintock grew up on the streets of Edinburgh, so protecting Dr. Stick-Up-Her-Rear isn't on his bucket list. Still, a promise is a promise, and, after her brush with death, he’s going to do whatever it takes to keep Sarabeth safe. When she finally gives in and shreds her librarian-in-mourning look in favor of a sex kitten, the revealing clothes and sexy new hairdo unleash the spitfire she’s been hiding beneath that shell of propriety.

Maybe the doc isn’t the only one in need of protection…

PURCHASE AT AMAZON

Thanks for having me today to celebrate the release of Guardian for Hire!

Today, I thought I could talk a little about what makes us fall in love with a fictional character. It sounds crazy, but it happens. You know the feeling, when you wish that hot, special ops hero could climb right off the page and move in with you, or that funny sidekick friend was real so you could have drinks and do karaoke together.

Books are funny like that, because regardless of genre, it’s the characters that matter most. If I fall in love with the characters, nothing else matters. I’ll follow them down a mine shaft, or to another planet or to Regency era London, or to a dystopian future. Because I’m invested. I care about them and their story. I think the best authors make us do that through voice. I’m a sucker for humor, but if I really think on it, that’s just a small piece of it. More important? Things that make them relatable. Do they have a little stutter when they get stressed out? Will they only eat if none of their food touches on the plate? Do they have a weird ritual they do before they leave for school every morning, like jumping off the front step and hitting the wind chimes with their fingertips? People are weird. We do weird stuff all the time. If characters aren’t a little weird too, readers can’t relate.

 Another thing I think that makes me love a character is if they are vulnerable and flawed in some way. If not, it’s hard to connect. Readers want to see themselves on the page, and know that their hero or heroine has been through strife, is a wide open nerve for the author to poke and prod. Sounds sadistic, right? But without it, who cares. I mean, that’s the investment, right? Without falling into a crevice due to hiking-hubris, there IS no sawing off of the proverbial arm. And without the sawing off of the proverbial arm, where is the “HELL YEAH!” The fist pump along with that good, juicy feeling payoff of seeing someone climb out of that hole, overcoming the odds? Where’s our Rocky or our Big Mike from the Blind Side? In order to celebrate the victory, we have to witness the suffering too, and that requires our protagonist to be vulnerable.

 I’m weird. And I’m vulnerable. And I’m flawed. So, like, whenever I draw a picture or doodle of something like a snowman, I always draw two so that when I close the notebook, there’s not just the one left there all lonely. Frigging weird, right?  And my kryptonite would be maggots. Show me maggots and I will tell you ANYTHING you want to know. As for flaws, I have a ton. I think my least favorite one is that I love to argue. Seriously, even if I don’t believe what I’m arguing about, I STILL have the intense urge to debate about it. It’s not cute, but it’s me.

About Christine Bell

Christine Bell is a USA Bestselling Author of contemporary romance novels and one half of the happiest couple in the world. She and her handsome hubby currently reside in Pennsylvania with a four-pack of teenage boys and their two dogs, Gimli and Pug. If she gets time off from her duties as maid, chef, chauffeur, or therapist, she can be found reading just about anything she can get her hands on, from Young Adult novels to books on poker theory. She doesn’t like root beer, clowns or bugs (except ladybugs, on account of their cute outfits), but lurrves chocolate, going to the movies, the New York Giants and playing Texas Hold ‘Em. Writing is her passion, but if she had to pick another occupation, she would be a pirate…or, like, a ninja maybe. She loves writing fun, sexy romances, but also hopes to one day publish something her dad can read without wanting to dig his eyes out with rusty spoons. Christine loves to hear from readers, so please feel free to get in touch with her via the Contact Page, or find her on Twitter @_ChristineBell.

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Book Review: Getting Rooted In New Zealand by Jamie Baywood.

Recounting experiences from a trip to New Zealand, Jamie Baywood pens a novel, brilliantly fast-paced, rich with humor and highly informative. The one book that would make you think again about planning an 'ultimate' escapade.

Blurb: Craving change and lacking logic, at 26, Jamie, a cute and quirky Californian, impulsively moves to New Zealand to avoid dating after reading that the country’s population has 100,000 fewer men. In her journal, she captures a hysterically honest look at herself, her past and her new wonderfully weird world filled with curious characters and slapstick situations in unbelievably bizarre jobs. It takes a zany jaunt to the end of the Earth and a serendipitous meeting with a fellow traveler before Jamie learns what it really means to get rooted.

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"Your family seems to have a lot of stomach problems.” I said to Gretchen.

“Yeah, my mum has a giant scar on her stomach from waking up during surgery from getting her appendix out, and my brother has been constipated for over eight years.”

“What? Your brother hasn’t pooed for eight years? How’s that possible? How old is he?”

"He’s ten. No, he has pooed. It’s just after he was potty trained when he was two, he only poos in his pants now.”

“That’s not constipation, that’s something else. You should take him to the doctor.”

“We have. He has ADHD. He’s so hyper when he comes over to my house; I just lock him in the bathroom."

"I guess that’s a good place to keep him with his condition."

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This book was fantastic. Nothing short of it. It's fun to know all the penned down had happened. Nothing but the truth. Wriiten in a form of a journal entry, it's so hilarious when you figure this time you've hit rock bottom, sitting on your butt and wondering how you can move on, then all of a sudden jetting away to a place where no one knows you so you could start afresh seems superb, but your destination wasn't as you thought it was and you wound up in a shitty country with a shitty economy with not much to brag about in the 'American Junk Food' department and you are stuck with eating what isn't close to healthy either. You want to move back into your country but you think you can make it all work, "It's cake." you keep telling yourself. The thought of failure drives you on and on even though you share cubicle walls with co-workers who send pics of their dicks taken from various ranges (nothing bothers much when that weiner in concern is ugly and teeny and weenie), and a workplace where no one gets your jokes, a boss whose mouth reeks of the habitat of a dead mouse yet won't stop to consider mouth-spray when they think it's OK yelling at you for something which they are clearly responsible for. Then when you ever think of really leaving, you can't, not because the US universal tax law for work-abroad citizens is the best idea govt over the years implemented, but you have made some very good friends, had the most hilarious experiences, found yourself and most importantly found the most charming man with a thong-dropping Scottish accent. Worse of all, you are not sure what labels to put on this relationship, but you are sure when you stick around, and chant Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, answers might come soon.

It's Eat. Pray. Love gone Cheat. Pay. Sort of Love. But you would love it for all the laughter it will bring you, the truth that's been lurking on the surface untold (like why everyone hates America when she's in charge of bailing them out of financial woes), and why you should be thankful you are not living another country's dream.

With a heroine you can relate to, (I mean, who hasn't hit rock bottom and felt like escaping? Who hasn't fallen in love in another country/state and fought hard to be with the person? Who hasn't craved Ben and Jerry's being in another country? Who hasn't struggled with confusing foreign accents? And most importantly, who hasn't dealt with words that have totally different/embarrassing meanings elsewhere?) it's fascinating we make such a connection with our lead that whatever emotion she's going through we feel for her. I don't know if it's because it's non-fiction or it's because she was well-written, but even if she's sex-deprived we all relate to her and kinda feel horny too (if my dad appears around the block, I DO NOT OWN THIS BLOG!).

The characters in this book are just so hilarious. From Jamie herself, the heroine who tells jokes you'd want to laugh at and hit your head against something in the process but wouldn't because everyone else in the room is glaring at her. To the paralympics sports promoter who could have been a prospective date except with one teeny problem about Jamie's roommates coming in to carry him onto her bed and allow her have her way with him. Barry, the dickhead who distributes professionally taken pictures of his dick around the office and tries convincing Jamie into escorting him buy a (crotchless) pantyhose. Gretchen the co-worker whose rough childhood (accidents) would get you guffawing. There was Grant, the sweet, sensitive, Scottish boyfriend who you would all envy about Jamie's life (I didn't despite my colorful description). All these characters and so much more I couldn't catch up with made this book one blast of entertaining.

Together we roll with Jamie till she makes that fulfilling decision that would change her life forever. Including her single status.

But while I would give it a five star elsewhere, I have to be honest about its shaky start. Struggled at the opening chapter to get to love, love it. But I did eventually.

So, my rating stands at a 4.5 star.

Jamie Baywood's hilarious travel memoir is available on Amazon in both kindle and Paperback.

I recommend this book to anyone whose ever thought of jetting away at the slightest problem. Anyone who loves crossing borders to find out how people are living (or is coping a more appropriate term?). Anyone overseas who has the feeling other internationals don't like them and judge based on a nationality label. You looking for sweet ooey-gooey love? This is your kinda kindle/paperback. More importantly, anyone who wants to have a fantastic time laughing so hard they beg for a refund when they can't take it anymore.

My work not done here. Off to post my review on Goodreads and Amazon.

Book Review: My Big Greek Family By Maria Constantine

Blurb: Georgina Andreou is at a crossroad in her life; professionally she’s successful, but her personal life is unfulfilled and lacking. As her huge Greek family descend upon the house to celebrate her thirtieth birthday, Georgina resigns herself to the fact that she is alive, but not living. Still at home with her parents and siblings, she’s torn between the traditional Greek values with which she has been raised and a more liberated,adventurous future. The time has finally come for Georgina to make some serious changes in her life in order to find happiness. And she isn’t the only sibling in the Andreou household who’s facing a culture clash; Katherina falls for an unlikely suitor at work, despite her family’s relentless mission to get a ring on her finger, and she is forced to face a secret she has kept buried for many years in order to take a risk on love again. Meanwhile Sophia, the youngest of the Andreou sisters, and the most rebellious, discovers a new spiritual direction in her life. The sisters’ bond is strengthened when the three of them decide to go on holiday together; secrets unravel and hidden emotions finally surface.

The trip acts as a catalyst for change in the girls’ lives and provides them with the courage they need in order to move forward. For Georgina, it helps her to find the strength to be the woman she wants to be and not the woman she is expected to be. But back in London, the sisters will have to steel themselves against opposition from their parents who find it hard to understand the cultural challenges their children face. Will their responsibility to the family prove impossible to resist?

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It was a lovely evening and not a single leaf swayed on the branches. Glancing out of the kitchen window, Georgina noticed Mr Macaroni hanging over the fence with a shoot in his hand. Georgina smiled as her mother bounced up from her seat, having seen him too.

‘Ah, must be the marrow he wanna give me to plant,’ she said with enthusiasm as she escaped to the garden to meet him.

‘Better keep an eye on him, Dad. First he wants to give her marrows – and before you know it, he’ll want to show her his cucumbers.’

Their father snorted dismissively, while Georgina and Katherina chuckled as they peered into the garden from their seats. They watched their mother return with a satisfied smile on her face.

‘Just don’t go showing him your melons, Mum."

———————————————

One huge lively Greek family. Three charming sisters. A journey to self-discovery. A journey of pure bliss.

Three sisters, Katharina, Georgina and Sophia love the time spent with each other. Spinters past thirty, thirty and close, but who says all you need is male company for some excitement. As sisters the three have an unbreakable bond, and together they would leave all family expectations to embark on the road to finding themselves.

Katharina is past thirty. Her parents have been scheming since on giving her over to "rich, Greek man". A career woman who cares less about towing the family traditions. If it was up to her, she'd elope with her job and remain spinster forever. Until Markus, the new employee makes an appearance so easy-going, good-looking and funny. Katharina can handle men... at arms-length. So if Markus ever thinks something might happen between them, he's certainly wrong. Or even if she wanted to, she's Greek and he isn't. Worse, she's been scarred for life by an incident that leaves her at war with the male generation.

Georgina turns thirty with family expectations weighing down on her neck. Her life is mundane as a school teacher who has to deal with students who give teachers very descriptive nicknames and fart with damage that can rival a hurricane's. It's clear she's not happy with all family expectations pushing her against the wall on how to live her life. In her parent's house. She's been warned by her dad to stay clear of men with 'evil', intentions. No one goes behind the family in search of a husband. But when Jake enters with blue eyes that promise more than friendship, would she be able to let go and take this one chance? Or thanks to her meddling cousin, Mario, who always has news on Jakes exploits, would she be able to trust him?

Sophia below thirty, wild child who gave up the education to train in hairdressing. Amongst all her sisters it's she who's looked down upon. Or at least that's what she thinks. Then when she begins sneaking out at late hours and coming back at early hours—a highly disapproving trait for an unmarried Greek woman, everybody begins to worry for what secrets she's keeping. And to make things worse, she's making a transformation from Bad Girl Gone Good sending everyone into confusion.

Follow these sisters journey of love, friendship, secrets, fucked-up family arranged dates and self-discovery. At the end of the day, family matters, and sisterhood flourishes.

This book is fantastic. I got reeled in by the blurb because the sound of Greek just transported my mind to My Big Fat Greek Wedding (isn't it surprising the guy who played Toula's dad, has the same last name as Maria?), a movie I devoured, huddled on the couch with the remote pressed to my chest. It was such a shame I jumped into conclusions because this book was nothing like that John Corbett and Nia Vardalos movie. But I took on the same posture, huddled on the couch with my e-reader falling onto my chest every time whatever emotions I was going through peaked. —★

I loved the storyline. Amazing. The plot is unique, the pace was breath-takingly slow but engaging. You know those kind of movies with no soundtrack, air blowing in the background dominated by chirping birds or bustling vehicles, simple sounds of day-to-day activities magnified (like the banging of a door or just footsteps and breathing patterns), that have irregular transitions between scenes yet you'd want to stick with because you have fallen for the heroine's plight? This book was one of such movies, the ones that end on such simple note of fulfilment which makes your eyes go misty. —★★

Was there anything I didn't love about this book? No. The characters were not exactly fun to read about but were amazing. From Christina, mum of three sisters who's moment of actualization would stem from her daughters being married off and constantly chasing away a neighbour's irritating cat from her garden. To Joseph, the quiet dad whose decisions were met with finality. To Dimitri the brother whose laid-back actions would piss any reader off, even more so when he's treated as a king like every other Greek boy. Markus, Jake, Harry, totally adorable men who contributed to the romance in this book. Lara, Celia, the raunchy karaoke friends. To all the members of the huge Greek extended family who were sometimes aggravating and lovely at the same time. All these characters sure put a blast in the title and made it, as I said earlier, unique—★★★

If you'd want a guide to going on a fun-packed, soul-searching vacation to Greece, this is it. The move from all the chaos of London to less plied roads and enchanting scenery thanks to Maria's description was a plus for this book. I was only on my couch, reading in the dark, but why did I feel like I was touring the majestical charm of ancient Greece, eating Mediterranean delicacies and sun-bathing with other tourists along the shores of beaches? All because of Maria, I might take six jobs this year (if I ever get the chance with school work) saving for a vacation to a Greece that would never happen for me. —★★★★

A star also to the precious moments in this book. The ones that made me wonder, the ones that made me smile, the ones that made me chuckle and the ones that made me feel so happy for any reader who might make the choice to grab this book.

My rating: Five stars.

My Big Greek Family, Maria Constantine's refreshing debut is available on Amazon.

I recommend this book to anyone who'd want to cross cultures and experience what it feels like to be Greek and single. You might be thankful for your situation. Anyone who wants something that would make them gain lessons on life and living it, love and feeling it, independence and gaining it,happiness and finding it. Simply put, anyone in search of anything heartwarming.

My work not done here. Off to post my review on Goodreads as well as Amazon.

Don't also fail to read Maria's Guest Post: My Chicklit Timeline.